Golden Rings and Purple Things
'Chapter 1' Zim stepped into Gir's line of view from the TV screen. "I know I got this solely for your entertainment Gir, but I never knew it could escalate to this." he snarled in disgust, "I doubt you even hear me." A squeal escaped Gir's metallic lips as he had collected his 100th "donut". Zim sighed and added, "I could be talking Irken right now and you wouldnt even notice..." His eyes then shifted to the source, a small box looking device, but it was stood on it's skinny side with a green-lighted button and several others. They called it an X-Box 360. He considered unplugging the cursed device and bringing it back to it's owner. However he didn't hope to see it's original owner for a while, apparently on Earth, people weren't allowed to walk into other's living rooms (from the window) and take your gaming device without getting a broom stick to the head and terrified yelling complete with an over-dramatic faint without the authorities keeping an eye for him. A loud fanfare erupted from the speakers surrounding the screen and Zim's antennae bounced from the sudden sound. It was highly annoying and well.... actually not that bad... oh no... it was horrible again... wait... what was that?! It went in a wave formation. Dun nun na na na na na do dun dun na na na na na do-do-do-do na na na na na and so on. "Gir!" Zim shouted more fiercly. It was then the tiny robot looked up at his master. "Yes master?" he asked happily but with of distraction in his voice. "Gir I need you to-" "Hold on!" Gir held up a finger-like pincer-claw and stuck his tongue out in determination. Zim looked taken aback, his own SERVANT did NOT just tell him to hold on! Furious and wanting the robot's full attention he snatched up Gir's single antennae and yanked him off the couch, and up to his face-level. "You do NOT command your master, do you hear me?! Gir!" Zim growled angrily. "No-no... I mean... y-yes Zim, sir!" Gir faded out of his duty-mode from fright, his master really does seem scary sometimes especially when he yells. Zim shook the SIR by the antennae again and grunted out an, "Good." Before releasing his grip all of the sudden and sending the robot crashing down on the floor. Gir let out a child-like moan as Zim continued. "Honestly, what is so attractive about this stupid game to you?" Zim gestured to the screen. Gir immeadiatly lightened up, this game was has new favorite topic! Well right next to cupcakes and piggies, and his master of course! And don't forget big-head and his pretty family-sister! "The colors!" he responded in delight, "I love how bright they are all except for darkey, he's a low talkin' little kitty with really nice shoes they have little donuts on the bottom of them that help him fly!" Zim stared blankly at Gir, "Flying... uh-huh... this "Darkey" character sounds like quite the push-over. Honestly, if he needs shoes to fly." "Well you need a ship to master!" Gir added. Zim snapped quickly at this, "Keep going!" "Okay!" "Weeelll... den there's the Jamaican dude with red hair he sounds all grunty like dis!" Gir then desolved into a series of grunts that made Zim flicker his antennae and flinch slightly. "Then there's a flying girl with big ears and she really seems to like hearts cause her litte costume has a big one where her-" Zim interrupted, "I don't want to know." A pause, "Keep going." "Hmmm... there's another flying girl with a high squeeky voice!" Gir pitched his noise even higher in imitation and Zim clenched his eyes shut as his antennae started ringing painfully. "HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE! Go on to the next... thing!" he cried out. Gir stopped instantly and thought, "Well there's-" "Do they fly?" Zim grumbled in complete annoyance. "Huh?" "Do they fly?" Zim added an eye-roll. "Oh no I dont think so..." Gir wondered. "Keep going." Zim said again with a flick of a wrist. "She's pink and pretty and has a big hammer! Like Gaz!" Gir cried out in joy for the two. "Gaz? You mean the Dib-sibling? She isn't pink!" Zim pointed out. "Her hair is!" Gir said in defense, folding his arms. "It's hair is purple!" Zim shouted back. "Her! Her hair is pink-purplish!" Gir agreed. Zim however, "Purple-pinkish." he muttered between clenched teeth. "Pink-purplish!" Gir snapped back. "Purple-pinkish!" Zim defended. "Pink-purplish!" "Purple-pinkish!" "Pinkish-purplish!" "Hah!" "What?" "You messed up! SO ZIM WINS!" "No fair!" "So fair!" "Nuh-uh!" "Yes-huh!" "No!" "Yes!" SHUUUUT UUUUP!!! Zim and Gir stared up at the ceiling in surprise. The Computer sighed and said in a groan, "Look at you Zim, acting like a smeet just for a stupid arguement with a brain-dead SIR unit!" "Do not speak to your master that way! The next time you do I'm pouring Poop Cola all over your curcuits! Now get back to work!" Zim snapped back into reality and stood defiantly, as if being confronted with an organic being. "You didn't give me any work yet." The Computer sighed in some confusion as well as irritation. "Well... then... ch-check the security systems for stability!" Zim thought quickly. "I already did, sir." Computer answered back. "How long ago?" Zim asked. "Uh... an hour." Computer said lazily. "THEN CHECK THEM AGAIN! You'll be be amazed what kind of things could happen within an hour! Quickly! Before you're the one calling telling the Tallest I was captured and unable to get back for a while." Zim came up with a good enough lie. "Oh my .... goodness. That would be complete bliss." Computer ignored him in a dreamy state. "What did you say?" Zim's antennae slicked back like the ears of a cat after being angered. "Nothing, sir. Checking and updating security systems." Computer added finally and dispersed into abrupt silence. Zim nodded curtly and returned to Gir, "Now what were you saying about this pink hammer girl?" 'Chapter Two ' Zim found out all he wanted about the game. A blue "kitty" and his yellow "doggy" are fighting against a human that was named Eggy according to Gir. There were several others that he had explained including a group of a butterfly, dinosaur, and unicorn. It all sounded strange to the Irken. Maybe his robot was stretching these descriptions way out of porportions. Either way he loathed the game and wished that it would just die, which led him to a brilliant idea. In order for the game to die he would have to destroy all the characters. And he knew just how. "Behold, Gir and Minimoose, the Inter-Dimensional Transmitter Teleporter. I will be teleporting myself into your stupid game and destroy all these animals you have described. And now that you've told me their powers. I will it against them." Zim broke out into a maniacal laugh. Gir piped up, "Does that mean you gonna hurt the kitties?" "Yes, Gir, I will hurt the "kitties"." Zim said between clenched teeth. "Ooh. But that's bad Darkey is hard to beat, it took me three tries before I could get him!" Gir cried out. "As long as I know their powers I know how to defeat them." Zim then saluted to his robot and moose minions, stepping forward to the large mirror-like device that was connected to the TV screen. "Not so fast Zim!" a voice yelled out and then something tackled Zim from behind, before he could find out who it was they tumbled inside the machine. Gir looked at the moose, shrugged, then ran screaming inside of the machine. ______________________________________________________________________________________________ Zim's eyes opened and he groaned, the bright sunlight hitting his eyes directly. He rubbed his eyes only to be met by fur. He gasped and looked down at his new five digited furry hands. He screamed and felt the rest of him. He was wearing his uniform still and thankfully still his PAK. He got to his feet and felt his face, it was all covered in fur, as he walked something bumped lightly against his kegs and he turned to find, he had a short shaggy tail. He yelped and looked around. On the ground still unconscious he saw a pure black creature dressed in what looked like the Dib's clothes. Wait. It WAS the Dib. Zim walked over to his enemies face and saw he now had a muzzle. Touching his own face he found he had one too. He also found they both had noses and fur covering their face and body. Dib had a tail as well as Zim. Zim wondered what the machine had turned them into. Dib looked like a dog but Zim, not being able to see himself had no idea what filthy creature he had turned into. Near the boy was a small silver being with blue patches of fur, he guessed it was his idiotic minion Gir. He had followed them inside the machine. He had six large spikes for what might have looked like hair and two spikes on his upper back. Zim had never seen a creature like this before so he had no idea what his robot now was. Category:Stories